Just remembering the old times....

Talking about old times, I AM GOING TO STUTTGART IN 15 days from now, and I am sooo freacking excited to see my bambucha again but especially to eat all the good german chocolate they have ! hahahah No I think I don't really wanna see Yukus that much, I just wanna eat awesome chocolate ( created by the thief's grandfather btw)
I hope we are gonna have the best time ever, and I can't wait to see how my Yukus is living without me... I hope she is gonna take me to visit cool stuff, and that I'm going to meet all her friends !!
I don't think you guys realize how exciting it is, to see my best friend (in america) again... She is SO SWEET (not) and she is the warmest girl I've ever known (not). Besides, she always tells me she loves me (not) and she misses me (not). But it's okay Yuka, for all of it, I forgive you. And you know God does it too... If you stop by a church in the middle of the night asking God for forgivness, he will listen to you =D
Well, these little vacations in germany will be a good time to :

- Buy new shirts that we are going to keep safe this time
- get drunk all we want ( what do you want, true friends know how each other is going to be after couple shot of tequila)
- Speaking english decently
- say FUCK to everything without anyone's carring
- teach each other bad bad germano-french words
- BE ALONE IN THE STREETS AT NIGHT ( OMG I don't think our parents will allow it)
- go to a german grocery so that we can take crazy pictures
- Go and get a double chocolatechip frapuccino ( God if they don't have it i'll kill myself)
- GO TO SUBWAYYY
- go IN a bar ( what do you want, true friends also go together in bars just to go in bars and say : "hey have you seen me, hahah I'm only 18, they let me in !)
- eat bretzels
- talk about our love stories ( well mine, because Yuka.... doesnt really... anyway. talk about love stories)
- recreate a fake beer fest
- throw poop in everyone's face
- take videos ( if possible, I don't really wanna buy a new camera, so careful please NO PINGUINS)
- and to do averything we've always wanted to do !


Well all of it just to say that I'm so freacking excited to see my YUKUS PUKUS BAMBUCHA !!!
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# Posté le vendredi 10 octobre 2008 19:05

some news

some news
Hey guys... Just some updates about my mood right now... it's like 8 15 and still can't sleep... So school starts in two weeks and I'm kind of excited but also frightened, I think it's a normal feeling..;I'm ready to work hard again, I'm really looking forward to it... I know I'm weird ! So I was listening some music, and suddenly "what is love, baby don't hurt me" came up, and OMG I remembered the boys dance during the pep rally ! It was so much fun ! SO I decided to organize sometime a boy's dance for one of my friend's birthday ahahah I haven't decided whose birthday its gonna be, but the girl is gonna get real lucky ! ahahah I don't knowx why Im saying that I just wish I could be at robinson next year just to see the boy's dance again ahahh... So I'm feeling so good rightnow... Of course I miss each and everyone of my friends there, but I feel like right now, I do have everything to make my life better... I don't know how to express it... I finally got most of my friends back and I'm so happy about it ! There is just one who is not gonna get back to me, unfortunately she was the one I was counting the most on... But Oh well, I will survive ahahah. So my summer is cut between sleeping, watching the omympic games and sometimes going out, which is not a lot... You guys can't even imagine how excited I am to get my licence!
Anyway everything is going very good, and I can say that right now my goals have changed because I'm always thinking of traveling I wanna go to germany to see my best friend, I wanna go to venezuela to see my bebe, I might wanna go to argentina to see my renzo even though Ihaven't heard form him forever...I wanna go to switzerland to see michelle who I met during the new york trip with afs washington, I wanna go back to the us of course, I wanna go to costa rica and eat pinapples lol, I wanna go to africa and help people in need, I wanna go to england and visit, I wanna go to australia to surf, I wanna go to spain to party, I wanna go to italy to meet the hottest guys ever, I think i just wanna go everywhere !
one day, I will be rich and instead of buying a super house, I'm going to travel and just follow my dreams ! For now Im just gonna work my ass off for it !! ahahah
so since Im gonna be working a lot on my classes next year, I don't have a lot of after school activities choices, but I still chose to keep doing jazz, hip hop and singing and horseback ridding ! I feel like I won't have a lot of time for myself ! It's gonna be a good year !
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# Posté le lundi 18 août 2008 02:24

allright

allright
Allright so I guess I'm gonna keep this blog running for Yuka, cause she might be the only one still looking at it... What to say... Just that I feel so lost and sad over here, I'd never realized how sad I get over here before I went to America... I get like there's something I'm missing inside of me.... Or maybe it's just that I'm crazy bored... I've seen pretty much everyone and everyone seems the same except for one thing : their lives kept going this year and I can't judge them about that, it's totally normal, The only thing is that I don't feel welcome anymore... Now everyone has a "mate" and I feel so left out because I don't have anyone to spend all my time with, because most of my friends have things more interesting to do than hanging out with me... I can go to the beach or to St Tropez or anywhere... I will still feel lonely... I hate that fucking feeling that brings me down everyay more and more..; I'm telling people that everyday I get a little better but this is a fucking lie ! Because I don't ! Because until I readjust I feel like this is gonna be hell for me... Try to smile to people and tell them that we haven't changed..; Of course we've changed ! this is not a bad thing, but just a different thing... And even though I still get along with pretty much everyone this is fucking exhausting to try to be again a part of their lives ! I feel like I'm fighting for something that's never gonna change !! I cry almost everyday because I miss amercia and the people and also because I feel like I am worthless here... I know its very selfish everything I'm saying but it's my blog I think I can put a little bit of my feelings into it... So yeah I feel like here the boyfriend/girlfriend thing is more important than anything and I don't get it..; I mean I do I guess I'm just jealous... Because I miss Abdel and I know that he's never gonna come back... and I'm so jealous of all my friends who tell me they're so in love, or who get upset because of nothing with their partner... Talking about partner there's a song, a red hot chili pepper song that says :

" sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner
Sometimes I feel like my older friend
Is the city of Angel the city I live in
I don't ever wanna feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way"

I don't understand... I was one of the exchange students saying : " that's bullshit, I'm gonna get back and everything will be the same and everything will look the same" and I'm probably one of the exchange students who have the hardest time readjusting... Because this obsession with dieting is bothering me so much, because people are always complaining and don't understand that this is not "living", because people are always talking as if they've seen and heard everything... This is such a beautiful place though, but materialistic people are spoiling it so much..; Right now Im not talking about my friends, cause they've always been humble and loving and not proud of themselves, I'm just talking about the way people act over here... I feel like if someone is ever gonna read this article, I'm screwed... Because I'm saying bad things... However this is for me the only way to express it... SO BE IT... I love my friends so much that it hurts me that things are not the same even though they are amazing and do everything to make me feel like home, they have another life now and I'm not a part of it... I love my family more than anything and things've changed soo much and some have change in a good way, some others have changed in a bad way... My relationship with my mom's changed so much... God this is one of the main reason I regret that I've been gone... We were so close... And now I feel like everything is a misunderstood ans everything is subject to conflict... We fight over everything all the time and it puts boundaries between us... And oh god I don't think anyone can understand how much it hurts... I feel like I've lost my mom or my "friendmom" or something like this... I don't wanna fight, I don't wanna be a teenager again, and especially fight with my mom... I guess I'm not made to stay still, I think I'm gonna move soon... I mean not this year, and hopefully it's gonna get back to normal before next year so I can leave home without a doubt that I don't leave because of the issues... I don't even know if what I'm writing makes any sense... Well I guess I don't wanna fight anymore... I think I will just sleep until the end of the summer... I'm tired to cry, I'm tired to be lost, I'm really gonna sleep and not see anyone I guess it's for the best cause I don't wanna bother anyone in their new life even though I know they would always be here for me... I will wait until school starts again and then figure out my life.. lol it sounds like if I'm gonna die soon but I swear it's such a struggle.. I don't thing anyone can understand... I'm going to sleep now, and hopefully I will wake up in one month, happy again to be here... Until then, I can say I miss everyone over there... Especially 43 (JK)
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# Posté le mercredi 30 juillet 2008 20:27

the truth....

the truth....
voila en fait jai menti, j'ai pas pris 10 kg comme je lavais dit, jen ai pris 50 et comme je sais que je vais revoir la plupart dentre vous jvoulais pas que vous soyez surpris....

so... i didnt gain 10 kg as I said, but 50 and since I know ill see most of you soon I didnt want you to be too suprised....
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# Posté le jeudi 03 juillet 2008 11:45

ouaw... as we go on, we remember all the times we had together

ouaw... as we go on, we remember all the times we had together
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# Posté le samedi 28 juin 2008 07:44